All up ons / swansong time

I guess that assumes I'm a swan, but swans are nasty birds. When I was a gardener in Upperville for a summer or two, when at least I remember things being greener and requiring less paperwork, we had a mated pair of male swans who would, as avocation and exercise both, chase us and the geese and the children. One or the other of these fags would pivot its big stupid wings up into Delorean mode, wrap itself in its lilywhite feather boa and power down upon your person. The swans' dubious sexuality's all on hearsay, since I never attempted to sex them nor do I know how you go about doing that. A bird has a cloaca, I think, which is a word that means sewer in Latin. I think their names were Gary and Gary and they had matching haircuts (a jheri curl each)


LAST DAY OF WORK is May 11 for me, and a few days after that I pack up and leave Charlottesville and Reichstag and so forth behind for good, so far as I know. In a rather corporate vein, I'm thinking of tics and habits better left here; Baton Rouge is a daunting catholic concept since I feel pretty finely-tuned to Charlottesville by now, and Charlottesville will shake your hand with cold-fish Protestant apprehension, that of a world-weary burgher

CVL DANCE SUNDAY

Somewhere during the run of the last three or so jumpy years the Kids all congressed and decided that dancing was ideal and more fundamentally, fun; in light of sarcasm's dramatic loss of value- so great a loss that bitter people everywhere were to be found panhandling in the street, and spitting- the Kids decided that earnestness would best secure their cred and not-quite-deo-gratia keep them riding high and dirty atop a (frankly) feudal hierarchy. Also smiling is nice, said They;

ok 'feudal' is a little much and a little bitter. I've got a month left and that's a little bitter too, and there's nothing to lose in these little narratives to explain the mysterious explosion in public unrestrained revolutionary bouts of hoooooooo LARGE LOVE. Dance parties cost a lot. Perhaps it's philanthropy, in the same strained way as I can only justify spending my days as a florist by casting it as an exercise in sculpture.

evening in

should consider it more often & I'd claim it kept me sane, that Lord ordained a day of rest too and however abstractly I find that most suspect him/her/it to have a greater share of the answers on lockdown than most or all individuals-but I have a suspicion if anything I'm too sane for my own good. Today for once I feel a little too big for my britches; to cycle on through further frames of the metaphor kaleidoscope, maybe I feel like a proud whitehead, really proud and about to lose it. This is frankly odd for the climate of the past months. So tomorrow I'm off and resting; perfect; things fall into place;

this is new to me that the urge to write comes from happiness. Before I think I filled seven or eight Moleskines mostly with two things, both forgettable, that I was sad and here's why, or that I was smitten and here's how. Often I'm smitten but now it's better to speak about it, and I'm hardly ever sad. Here's to it; that's all I can say I guess, and why the yellow press doesn't thrive on public-interest material; happiness has me delving into further and ever more delightful absurdities and comparisons and suspensions of logic; like for instance, hasn't this all fallen into place by means of something like a transfigured and infernal game of Tetris, playing in a giant cybernetic frame on some fell hill?

this one came up earlier: GENERALLY SPEAKING, moustaches were de rigueur among homos in the late 70's and early 80's, a decade of salad days, plump with Arcadian barebacking (Starbucking), hopeful hitchhiking and other made-to-order porn scenarios. Then HIV begins slaying my people in the 1980's. Maybe it takes until 1992 for the full-feathered mustache- which is in itself a preposterous suspension of the natural rules to facial hair- to fade from porn and likewise from favor; now your average individual in the mainstream gaybar strives to convince you he's seventeen. No time for reasons; what I wanted to say: clearly, AIDS rendered the moustache a joke


A life lived considering these fallacies is a life well-spent, you could probably convince me otherwise but don't

HALFTIME

The only casualty of the party was the kitchen table (a rickety piece of shit) and when we were all through we ferried it out the door and pitched it down behind the stairs into the bamboo patch where the train gang would cook and pass out when it was warmer out. That's not entirely true, other things were broken and mangled, but

For a few hours everyone danced in my room, have it here with light and then properly dim as a den of sin, or of common elation. In any case they fogged up the windows; the police came by and shined a mag-lite at me by way of ordering persons off the porch roof

I mean,

NOBODY IS READING THIS and why would you if I haven't even said anything in a month and a half,

let alone the idea of it being worth reading

(while we're on this subject: I was getting pretty into wearing that eyeliner the other night)

but, to answer a seriously inconsequential remorse, many things were going wrong & it was all we could do to field all those questions. I should say for Tristan and Sam to field all those questions and fuck around with wires and couplings. I got no truck with that,

but also, think about it next time before you go barging in (for instance) to bear-hug the unassuming DJ from behind. If only next time I could set it up in a glass box suspended above the whole jam. And thank everyone for dancing like that. You know if you were there. Here's my set, if you're interested:

1. Mavenalli Project : 4Tune5
2. Edwin Starr : War (King Britt Extended mix)
3. Chicks on Speed feat. Peaches : We Don't Play Guitars (Chicken Lips Play Dub version)
4. Summerland : Soulmate (Restless Soul Peaktime Vocal mix)
5. CSS : Let's Make Love and Listen To Death From Above (album version)
6. Hot Chip : Over and Over (Solid Groove remix)
7. Armand van Helden : Hear My Name (Serge Santiago remix)
8. Fort Knox : The Big Score (Dropped Mix: Ursula 1000 vs. Dr. Luke)
9. Cassius feat. Ghostface Killah : Thrilla (A Bass Day remix)
10. Mario Piu : Communication (More mix)
11. Lil' Louis : New Dance Beat (D'extended edit)
12. P'taah : The Oldest Story (Swag Version dub)
13. The Valentinos : Kafka! (Bag Raiders How'd Ya Like It At Five remix)
14. Master H : Thirteen
15. Groove Armada : If Everybody Looked The Same (DJ Icey's Arctic mix)
16. Cassius : The Sound of Violence (Reggae Rock mix)
17. The Whip : Trash
18. Andrea Doria : Bucci Bag (Peter Rauhofer Reconstruction mix)
19. Martin Solveig : Heartbeat
20. Jahkey B feat. Satta : Heartattack (Peter Rauhofer's Particular remix)
21. Michael Jackson : Wanna Be Starting Something
22. PCP Project : Two Time Boy (JD Harris mix)
23. Greg Gaultier & Tony L : Alright (Cheers Dub mix)

mostly oldies (I'm drawing on an inherited cache of records) but goodies. Thanks and good morning